For "Brer Rabbit"



the miracle pill

The recycling bin was a bright fluorescent green…

The Citizens of Barbarik were environmentally conscience and believed wholeheartedly in recycling. They knew that The Dimension of Barbarik had limited resources therefore nothing was wasted. Paper was deposited into gray bins stationed throughout the land. Glass was placed into white bins. Discarded clothing was deposited into yellow bins and sold to the less fortunate at deep discount. Food that had expired on the market shelf was collected into blue bins and distributed to hungry Barbarikians.

The fluorescent green bins were unique in that they were kept just below freezing inside. The material to be recycled that was deposited there needed to be kept at that temperature in order to ensure freshness. The fluorescent green bins yielded the most recycling value to the citizens of Barbarik. The material inside was ground up and redistributed in pill form. When swallowed each morning and evening with a full glass of water the pills miraculously improved the quality of life of many of the Barbarikians who had come down with illness, injury or old age.

And it was all due to the wise Executive Order of Charismatic Leader that this product had become available. Just another reason why he was so adored by the majority of the citizens of Barbarik (as evidenced by his continued high approval rating in the Official Polls of the Etile Aidem.)

Two days before the Final Consensus was to take place for the Leader of The Dimension of Barbarik most of the fluorescent green bins were filled almost to capacity. This was the direct result of the fear that Jo Sef of the True Believers would by some freak of circumstance come into power as the new Leader of The Dimension of Barbarik. In that event, the fluorescent green bins would stand empty and there would no longer be a “miracle pill” distributed to those unfortunate Barbarikians in such dire need of it.

In a room whose walls were painted a soft pink with a fluorescent green recycling bin positioned against the northern wall, another “procedure” was near completion. It was being performed before full separation as required by Barbarikian Law.

With one clean, fell swoop of the cleaver, the Skilled Attendant instantly removed the head of the small whimpering form squirming on the cold steel table. With the remaining portion still twitching, the chord connecting the unwelcome addition to its adjacent host was then clamped off and cut. Procedure complete.

The pretty assistant then took the two portions of the UA over to a tub of sterile cleansing fluid. The Skilled Attendant finished ministering to his client who was then given the proper postprocedure instructions and released to go back to her home to recuperate.

When the practice of opting out was first being performed it was most often done towards the beginning of the anticipatory stage when the UA had barely begun forming inside the host. But when the miraculous healing properties of The Pill was discovered, the Farmacy Factories began to offer a generous reward to those hosts who waited until natural delivery to opt out in order to produce more product. Also a generous bonus was given to those hosts who took no medication during the delivery process, thus providing a product more free from contamination and in its purest form.

The Skilled Attendant was young and proud of the textbook perfect procedure that he had just performed. The pretty assistant showed no sign of emotion as she deposited the UA sections into the fluorescent green bin and went about the task of preparing the room for the next occupant. She did comment that the fluorescent green recycling bin was almost full to the max.

The same process was about to happen, happening, or finishing up in the other eleven opting out rooms of the Relief House. One dozen fluorescent green recycling bins near bulging with their content. A very productive week indeed. Forty-six staff were in the building, and two dozen clients were either getting ready for the procedure, in the middle of it, or receiving their post-procedure instructions. One especially handsome citizen with hair the color of sunbeams at noonday, having just gone through the procedure, opened the front entrance door of the Relief House and prepared to step out into the bright morning sunlight.

Then came the violent explosion! The Relief House shattered into a trillion pieces! All those who had been alive inside were no longer. The handsome daughter of Dab Sejes, intimate friend of Charismatic Leader and a darling of the Etile Aidem, never was to set foot outside of the building alive.

The scene was one of horror, panic and chaos. Almost instantaneously the Etile Aidem was on the scene with reports of the carnage. Adult body parts were strewn about everywhere, intermingled with thousands of tiny unwelcome addition parts. It was a Barbarikian tragedy of immense proportions not to mention a tragic waste of perfectly good “product.”

Charismatic Leader wasted no time in addressing the citizens by way of the Etile Aidem. He offered his condolences to the families and friends of the Barbarikians who had been murdered in such a senseless act of violence. He expressed his outrage. He declared that he would not rest until the monster responsible for committing such a heinous crime was brought to justice.

In fact…

The police already had a suspect in the bombing. Charismatic Leader announced that evidence collected at the scene and eyewitness accounts already offered by reliable witnesses (whose identities would remain anonymous for their own protection) pointed to one citizen as the perpetrator. He regretted to inform the misguided supporters of Jo Sef of the Clan of the True Believers that Jo Sef himself was the main suspect. He stated that all along he had suspected that Jo Sef was a dangerous and unstable individual. He offered the theory that obviously when Jo Sef came to the realization that he had no chance of winning the Final Consensus he had “snapped” and decided to defend Life in his own perverted way.

Charismatic Leader demanded that anyone knowing the whereabouts of Jo Sef should come forward so that he could be apprehended and brought in to answer the charges. Once again Charismatic Leader declared the depth of his sorrow for the fate of the innocent victims and their families.

The Etile Aidem then went in for a close-up of Charismatic Leader as a single tear trickled down his cheek and he bowed his head in grief…


LumberJack's Daughter

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